Messy, No Bows Needed

You know, I have spent a large part of my life with my head buried in books. It was interesting. Structured. Predictable in the most comforting way. The bad guys eventually get their karma. The good guys win. Cheerleaders and smart girls exist in separate universes. And getting everything you want in life is difficult, yes — but ultimately inevitable.

So imagine my surprise when I lifted my head from the page and discovered that life doesn’t follow narrative logic.

Sometimes — if not most times — the bad guys get away with it. And that ex you were certain would come back grovelling, giving you the cinematic moment to say, “Boy bye. You had your chance and fumbled it.” Well… it doesn’t quite happen like that. Sometimes he sees you, smiles politely, and says, “Girl, you look good. I’m glad you’re doing well for yourself.” And that’s it. No dramatic longing. No regret. No third-act confession.

Just normalcy.

I’ve also learned that nerdy guys can play volleyball. The valedictorian can be obsessed with Vogue. The lines don’t stay where stories told us they would. Life isn’t a perfectly wrapped gift with a bow on it.

Real life is messy. And when I stop to really think about it, why wouldn’t it be? Human beings are messy. I, for one, am messy. I’ve fallen. I’ve made mistakes. And none of it makes me any less human than the next person.

But there’s one thing I’ve also discovered: the messiness of being human comes with privileges. We can change our minds — just because. I can decide I no longer want to follow through with a decision I made before. Who’s going to shoot me? No one. There is no single way to be human. There is no script we are required to follow to the letter.

Like I always say, one of the greatest gifts humans were given was free will — and I intend to make good use of mine. I hope you do, too.