On Letting Go

 I read a book called This is Me Letting You Go. And I love the juxtaposition between the title and the content. As you know, I love words. I love when random words are chosen to form a beautiful idea. And This is Me Letting You Go suggests that the person is letting go elegantly and decisively. But the book shows how messy letting go really is.

 One of the ideas I loved most is how she uses the idea of multiple universes to imagine everything she could have done better — all the words stuck in her throat that she should have said, every time she could have tried harder. After all, isn’t it human to bargain with reality to soothe ourselves?

 But what I loved more was her conclusion: what if there’s no alternate universe where they could have worked? What if this was the best ending for them both? That they were just brief visitors in each other’s worlds, and they came out stronger for it?

 She also talks about wrong timing. The idea that we meet the most perfect person at the wrong time. And she says that means the person is wrong for you. Because no matter what, the right person would make it work. Saying someone is perfect for you except for timing is like saying the person isn’t worth some inconveniences, don’t you think?

 Instead, have you ever thought about how lucky you are to exist in the same timeline at all? That he wasn’t born 500 years before you or 100 years after? That you were both alive in this internet age, where communication is even possible?

 And she talks about how we don’t let people go in an instant. We let go little by little. Every time we see their favorite snacks and don’t pick them up. Every time we don’t call to share our good news. We let go a thousand different times in a thousand different ways. And that’s okay.

 So this is me giving you permission to take your time. Take your time to grieve all the “could-have-beens” and “what-ifs.” Indeed, there’s a million universes where your story could have ended differently, but you don’t live there. You live here. So take your time to uncurl yourself from the future you imagined. Nobody rushes a bereaved person to get over their loss, so why should you be rushed?

 Take your time, my love. Just don’t forget to live while grieving, baby, because that’s the best way to let go.

And if you need a little push, I recommend This is Me Letting You Go by Heidi Priebe.